You may have noticed that I’ve been very inactive lately, and when I do post, I’m not really putting much heart into it (or maybe it was just me who did).  I love Tumblr. I love the posts. I love the people, everyone. But I’m afraid the time is near for me to say goodbye. Tumblr, besides being half my life basically, is a distraction. My grades are dropping. I’m skipping classes. I’m half-awake most of the time. I’m not saying that it’s Tumblr which did all that too me. There’s quite a few other distractions in my life, but I just can’t afford to have anymore.

Mostly, it’s for my mom.

Some of you may have known of my mother’s struggle through breast cancer and of her miraculous recovery. She is a very strong willed person, and an amazing mom and wife. If some may have given up half way through a fight with cancer, she only grew stronger and more joyful if anything. Because of her, our family grew close to God, we had a lot of blessings, and even though we never had so much obstacles thrown to us, we’ve also never been more happy and more close to each other. After chemotherapy sessions and an operation to remove her left breast, she recovered. It has been at least 6 months, and another dilemma came in our family’s way. A few weeks ago, my mom suddenly got a massive headache. She can hardly stand up and walk: we had to help her with that. The doctor said it was vertigo, and all we had to do was giver her medicine, let her take some rest and take care of her all the time. A few more weeks of this and her condition was only worsening. Finally, my father decided to take her to the hospital (which we should have done long ago if not for financial problems).

The results of the test shows a spreading brain tumor.

She stayed for a few days at the hospital, but my we cannot afford the fees. We can’t even afford MRI. She’s at home until now and I feel nothing but inadequate. She can barely raise her arms now, so we have to feed her ourselves and just wipe her with wet towels for her bath. Whenever she moves her head for just a little bit, she has to squeeze her eyes shut because of the pain. My dad told me that when she was in the hospital, she kept asking for me. When they took her home, even when she was in pain, she still managed to smile at me and look my way. She’s suffering, and I can do nothing but be a worry for her.

Internet connection is not cheap, and though it’s a drug that I can’t let go of completely, I’m limiting my time in using it. I’ve also been absent at school with reasons such as cold or flu, and even though I have a slight asthma right now, it’s not because of that. I’m thinking that transportation to school and my daily allowance could have been my mother’s meal for a whole day, and I’m willing to give her that anytime. I have to take care of my studies, take care of myself, take care of my mom, most importantly. I thought about just telling everyone that I’m just going on hiatus for a while, but I know that won’t work. I won’t deactivate my account today or tomorrow. Probably next week. I’ll still keep posting a bit during those times. I’m just letting people know.

Whether you know me your not, friend or enemy, I ask of you one favor: please pray for my mom. If you can’t find enough kindness in people, I hope you’d have known her. I’ll talk to you about her, and you can see that there are some people in life that are worth saving.

Thank you, for everything.